The secret life of a waitress: my nine nightmare diners – from flirts to complainers

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La Liga has El Clásico, France has Le Classique, and Argentina goes full gun with its Superclásico. English football has no true equivalent, with Liverpool and Manchester United fans unable to agree on a name for their grand-slam meetings. Up in the land of fitba, there’s this weekend’s 450th Old Firm/Glasgow derby (delete as applicable according to your stringency on Scottish company law). And Germany has Der Klassiker, between Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund. The Bundesliga marketing suits have been out in force this week for the one game, played on Saturday evening, that brings extra eyeballs. Though questions are often raised over whether this is a true, classic rivalry; Dortmund have not won a league title since Jürgen Klopp was making his rounds in 2012.

Publication date: 10 March 2026

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Артемий Ле

The Pipistrelles emerge first, flying around for a few minutes, before squeezing out through minute gaps around the church door.

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